A Best Man's Speech
Published by Ng Chin Leng, with permission from Tan Boon Gin
1 September, 2001

Distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen.

I remember when Kevin first told me about Jamie. He was so excited he could hardly find the words to describe her. I had to prompt him along. Is she good looking? Yes. Is she nice? Yes. Is she intelligent? Yes. And then, under pressure to use his own words, Kevin blurted out: and she's crazy about me. This was the last thing I expected to hear from him, but on reflection I thought, hey, why not? There's a lot of Kevin to be crazy about. After 15 years of friendship, I can vouch for that.

Kevin has always been the strong silent type. A man who leads by example rather than words and yet whose words command instant respect and attention. A man who may not say very much about his feelings of friendship, but who has always been there for me when it matters.

Kevin is almost the perfect gentleman, true to the spirit if not the letter of the ideals of chivalry. He may not open the door for you or pull out your chair, but if you're looking for a sympathetic shoulder and a listening ear, you will find in him the most discreet, loyal and true of friends.

The strongest force in Kevin's life is his faith. His faith gives him great inner resources and an absolute certainty about his place in the world and in God's great plan. These qualities rise to the fore when he is tested and is reflected in the philosophical way in which he accepts setbacks and his humility when he achieves success.

But beneath that deceptively serious exterior, lies a man with a dry, ironic and sometimes even wicked sense of humour. Kevin finds delight in the unusual, the off beat and most of all, the deadpan. I remember the time when we watched the Last Emperor together in the cinema, and John Lone, who was playing the part of the Last Emperor, was singing a song with the chorus "am I blue" and Kevin kept saying "no, you're not", and was literally shrieking with laughter. He was the only one laughing and everybody else was turning round to see what on earth was so funny.

But enough about Kevin, let's go back to Jamie. After Kevin's startling announcement I couldn't wait to see this girl who was apparently crazy enough to be crazy about him. And so I met her and I knew that Kevin was right. She was crazy about him and she showed it openly and without self-consciousness in a way that touched me deeply. She was like a breath of fresh air in a world where playing hard to get and other emotional games have become the norm.

Jamie was every bit the picture perfect portrait that Kevin had painted in our many conversations about the ideal woman. Slim, elegant, chic and competent, with an adventurous vivacity and cheerful warmth that was a perfect foil for Kevin's dry wit and steady ways.

Now the Kevin I know has never been very emotionally expressive. Yet here he was now, wrapping a protective arm around Jamie, looking at her with a mixed expression of pride and devotion, and a dopey grin on his face.

When he told me how he proposed to Jamie, I could hardly believe my ears. Apparently Kevin had driven round the whole of Singapore looking for the most romantic spot on the island. He found it, brought Jamie there despite getting lost on the way and proposed on one knee. Could this be the same Kevin who despite my best efforts and prodding had remained stubbornly romantically challenged over the last decade and a half? Somehow Jamie has found a way to unleash the hidden man. These are sides to Kevin I have never seen before. In fact I think that these are sides to Kevin that Kevin himself hasn't seen before. And you know what? I think he secretly likes being thrown off his stoic horse by all these new emotions of passion and romance. Jamie, I have no idea what you did to him, but I do believe this, with all my heart, that Kevin is a better man for loving you. And if 15 years of friendship are anything to go by, you have a lot to look forward to in loving him.

In closing, I would like to propose a toast to the happy couple. To my best friend and his new best friend, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Kevin and Jamie. Cheers and thank you.